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Wednesday, May 15, 2002
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I talked to tikki this morning. fuck. It was really nice. Like extremely comforting nice. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. I'm so lonely and vulnerable to attachment at the moment that this is perhaps the most dangerous thing ever. I miss him so much. I miss being with him so much. The bitch of it is - as I was writing in my journal the other night - that I'm never sure wether what I miss so badly sometimes is him, or the way I felt loved when I was with him. *sighs* I think maybe its both - or at least that its impossible to separate the two. He is love made flesh.
Oh well. The one thing I still know is true is that I have shit to do. I can't stop to fall in love again. That might be the one bit of knowledge that gets me through this mess.
It'd be nice to be friends in regular contact again. I hope that we can pull it off without killing ourselves.
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