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Thursday, May 30, 2002
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Well is 3am and I am finally setting down to write in my blog. I've been thinking about doing it all day really. Its just that the words have been all nonsense and nothing really solid or interesting has happened to write about. The sunniness and lack of school have both contributed to an extreme state of metal relaxation on my part. Band stuff has been nice. I wrote Diarmuid a nice long letter about it today which I will probably post excerpts of later. I love listening to Henry and Jeremy play together. The whole atmosphere of the project has been really relaxed so far -which is good since I'm still feeling green in the realms of musical composition and performance. Even our few disturbances have been weathered with ease. yay.
Now it seems that the only major hurdle left is Jeremy's ubiqutous romantic fascination with me. I haven't quite found a polite way of squelching it yet, but it hasn't been offensive, so I don't feel any immediate need to. The only kicker is that we have been spending a great deal of time together, and he keeps requesting more. I guess another kicker is that somehow I feel guilty flirting with other guys now too. How stupid is that? I mean I'm not interested in dating Jeremy, I haven't given him any indication that I am - why should I feel guilty for being interested in other men? Bah. A stupid illogical conscience is mine. I had a long and interesting conversation with Birdy tonight about the situation, which somehow ended up with me offering to be her "romantic lead" as they say. It was quite odd...especially because I was quite serious. I guess that ups the number of ladies I think I would go bi for from one to a whopping two. how queer non?
In retrospect I find it kind of funny to think about all the accusations of lesbianness that have been leveled at me over the years versus the actual so-small-as-to-be-practically-speaking-NON-EXISTENT level of sexual interest that i have in women. Yes I find some women beautiful, and I'm not afraid to admit it - but why do people think that (without a doubt, no matter how much I say otherwise), means I want to fuck them? You'd think that if I was going to lie about something like that, I wouldn't admit that I find them beautiful in the first place. Wouldn't you ?
*climbs up on her soap box and shouts to everyone and no one in particular* BE RATIONAL. BELIEVE IN AND HONOUR HONESTY. *climbs down*
Alright, I'm just rambling now so I'm going to post my earlier band related rambles and head off to financial-aid research world, and sleep. I'd tell you what I have been reading recently - but that was Pyramids by Terry Pratchett - which I've read before and is currently lost somewhere in the bowels of my house.
The only thing on my stereo has been MindWitherDay and more MindWitherDay. I'm being a good vocalist and doing my homework, mentally mapping out the songs so I can sing to them, brainstorming etc. Yes, we've finished the first drafts of two songs already and last night I finally got the boys to put them down on tape. They're pretty. You'll like them. Ask me for demos when they come out.
K, on with the band nonsense that you in all likelyhood are not interested in.
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Warning: band nonsense follows.
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excerpt from letter to Diarmuid :
Up until *thinks* ah yes, Yesterday I've been pretty busy just finishing final projects and working with the new band. - which kicks ass. I wouldn't call the sound "goth" - yet anyway - but its really nice.
It sounds a bit like someone threw Violet Indiana, bauhaus, the spooky soft bits of black metal, the Cure, and MassiveAttack into a gunny sack, broke them up into essential components, (a measure here, a drumbeat or effect there, a certain feeling there...) and then poured them back out bit by bit. THe overall effect is very esoteric, dark and smooth but not afraid to get forceful as well. I like it VERy much. *teehee* Which makes everything so much more fun. :)
Right now MindWitherDay = me on Vocals and in a producer type role ("that sounded good guys, lets work with that riff" "can you turn up the guitar a bit? thanks." etc.), and Henry and Jeremy on guitars and drums. One of thier friends, Eric, was also working with them on the project before I came in but he made a total ass of himself at my first practice and shortly there after had a *Ahem* mental episode and got committed for a few days. He's out of the asylum now and showed up to practice for a bit last night, but he was still acting pretty fruity. The boys seemed annoyed, and I dont think that they want him back any time in the near future. Which is alright by me. *shrugs* Talented or no, having him around was counterproductive to getting good music made.
Henry on the guitar is definitely the group's genius factor. He picks it up and wierd beautiful sounds just flow out. Jeremy though - wow. His sound is slightly more traditional in that i can definitely sense his metal background - but he has some serious talent, and when the two of them sit down together to jam I find myself just mesmerized.
But enough about the band. I'm probably boring you out of your mind. Its just that not too much else has been going on recently. Since school ending my daily routine has been: eat (occasionally), shower, dress, drive, sing, drive, sleep. I'm both looking forward to, and desperately afraid of my summer job which starts next week. I think I'll be one of 2 undergrads working at the lab and the other one is a senior CS major. *sighs* I'm afraid that I'm going to be more trouble than I'm worth. "Forgive me professor for I have sinned. Its been 3 years since my last CS course" - which incendentally was intro to CS for majors (C & C++ were languages we worked with) and Intro to Java. Oy! OH well - I'll survive and hopefully I will learn a lot in the process.
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and a slightly less pleasant excerpt from a chat with DeadEnd :
Aye... I almost had a drug related bad last night.
How band practices on mon &tues work is that H & J's death metal band practices first at 8:30-9ish then by around 10 all the DeathMetal members except for H & J go out to the bars for an hour - two hours. This is when they work on MindWitherDay stuff... then when the DeathMetal people come back H & J go back to deathmetal practice for a bit until the rest go home.
Well - I hate to say this but- me band mates and thier groupies are a bunch o pot smokers. Not excessive but they do do it. Well when the DeathMetal people went out to the bar, not only did they return drunk but they returned with two other guys who were intent on beating them up and were trying to break down the studio door to get inside and do just that. The studio only has one door. Along with the MindWitherDay folk and myself, there were groupies who couldn't escape with thier pot trapped inside. BAD. The police didn't in fact show up before we got them out but it was a touchy and unpleasant situation nonetheless. At future practices I think that either the groupies or the pot will HAVE to go. I dont want to be put in that situation ever again.
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