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Thursday, June 06, 2002
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For your amusement...
One man speaks out
20. What is your most burning question about the opposite sex?
(fe2o3) Why is poop funny? I just don't get that one. Muff or buff? What's with you doing a total personality switch post-orgasm? I mean a reasonable period of euphoria is understandable... but some of you never switch back! Its horrible! One would think that you'd realize that if a woman was attracted enough to you to sleep with you in the first place obviously you had a good thing going.
(male) "Why do men do a total personality switch post orgasm? The answer is a combination of chemical changes and learned behavior. We'll start with the chemical...
Men are hunters and gatherers. They form tight bonds with the men around them, which could be thought of as their hunting party. In the old days, they're only interaction with females was when they brought a wooly mammoth back to the cave for chow. All the time that they were out there, they were building a fresh supply of sperm cells. Now their bodies have decided that it's time to release that build up. Certain glands in the sex organs release a chemical that causes the man to become horny. In the old days, he would just rap a woman over the head with a club, but now there is a much more complicated mating dance involved. Once the ejaculation is complete, the chemicals that caused him to be horny are gone, and he instantly reverts back to his normal hunter gatherer self.
The learned behavior is a little easier to grasp. A single teenager masterbates enough to power Chicago for probably three years. This is usually done at night, right before bed. The mind begins to associate ejaculation with sleeping, thus the mans inclination to roll over and go to sleep after he's done grunting and sweating (and most likely leaving you wholly unimpressed).. This urge is so powerful, in fact, that after adulthood, many men (including myself) often use masterbation to make themselves go to sleep on nights when they have to get up early in the morning, or there is something on their mind keeping them awake.
Also, poop isn't funny, but farting sure as hell is. And, when one of your buddies farts and accidentally loads his pants, that's really, really funny, and grounds for lifelong humiliation (bonus)."
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