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Tuesday, July 02, 2002
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Death.. I love her. its funny... When i took that test I thought it was a conincedence that I came up as Death. But now - having reread "the high cost of living" tonight i see now how similar we are. Well... when I'm good that is. I'm not always good.. but then again niether is she. The trick is to just keep trying. Just keep reminding yourself what a gorgeous thing life is- with all of its good bits, and with all of the bad.. like a symphony. Without the storm the calm that follows would never be so palpable and alive. Alright.. I wasn't sure if I was going to tell it but here's the story of my adventure. I'll try to do the magic justice for once.
The story bit - or - "Lets Play Pretend" (Sunday, an hour out of Minneapolis): I've decided that I rather like long bus trips. They're good for thinking and.. I .. I think i'm in love. Head over heels, heartstruck, crazy in love if only I wil let myself be. Fighteningly, gracefully, piningly, beautifully, rapturously in love - even if I wont. I don't seem to have much choice in the matter. (perhaps none, whatsoever, at all.) I mean, In the last few months I feel as if i've turned into a very practical girl. D taught me very well not to believe in fairytale endings. I'm aware of my history, and I've learned from it. I certainly didn't choose to fall exquisitely in crush with a boy who 1. lives 8 hours away in a city that I have never even liked - let alone considered moving to. This fact alone seems ample doom. I will not give up school again for anything. That's two years of otherwise commitment right there. 2. Is a musician. (aaahhh he is a glorious one though, with none of the typical musician faults that wear down my heart over time). 3. Is quite possibly quite hooked up with someone.... to be continued when i can keep my eyes open again
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