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Friday, August 30, 2002
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I'm talking to birdy and she feels as if she is suffocating. She feels as if peices of her.. . the living bits, are going away and being snuffed out - and there is nothing that i can do. It tears me apart - because right now I feel as if I can do anything. I can be anywhere, anyone, build the most perfect beautiful light - and yet I can't help her. We're tied down, to our individual places, to our new loves - and yet were not, not enough for it not to chafe. "Strap me down with disillusion / Tie me up in lifelines... " I so wish that I could give her something to dream about - something that would make her feel she's moving forward. something that would make her feel she's not going out...
((This is what I am for you)) "Cease trembling and shaking and grasping and cursing and find again your core which I am. Rest from twistedness, distortion, deformations. For an hour you will be me; that is, the other half of yourself. The half you lost. What you burnt, broke, lost, and tore is still in my hands: I am the keeper of fragile things and I have kept of you what is indissoluble." -anais nin
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