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Saturday, October 19, 2002
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I am the strangest person I know. This morning, cup of coffee in hand I wandered up to the bathroom to ask something small of stone (just a little something. I can't even remember what it was now) and I got caught or fell or something completely extrordinary. He was there, shaving in front of the mirror with light streaming gently in from the window behind him. And it was so incredibly beautiful. At first I was just fascinated... beautiful boy, sexy shaving cream smell, and sharp things close to delicate flesh - who wouldn't be? And it then turned into something eye opening and divine. I. I wanted.. I dont know - to tape it.. the sound of the water, and the glow of his skin, and the smell of the shaving cream. I wanted to somehow capture this moment of my life.. this thing that I had found which was so incredibly beautiful, so that I could share it.. because it was to good to just let pass away into the ether. Because I am too good to just let pass away into the ether. - And then ((of course)) i realized that I couldn't. THat life is a series of these moments.. these freeze frames which make it worth living. Our most precious moments are but lines written on flash paper, and nothing will ever completely capture the brilliance which happens when they go off. But thats a good part of what makes them so special... and no matter how little you might be expecting it - a new one always come along. *soft smiles*
So yeah. I stood in the bathroom this morning with a cup of coffee, and turned a boy shaving into a spiritual experience. In my faded cargo greens, and a t-shirt with bold Death on the front, I was a celluloid girl and tears slid down like rain... But they were happy tears.
I don't know what I'm doing here. I don't know where I am going to. But every moment here (with you) is a gift. You are my treasure.
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